The Second Time Around

I entered my garage, got out of my car, and these words poured forth; "I should not be coming home to an empty house. I should be coming home to my wife and my wife should be Cheryl Grant."

I married Cheryl Simmons on August 4, 1985.

I married Cheryl Simmons-Grant on September 27, 2013.

Many of you know Cheryl and I were married in 1985. What many may not know is we divorced in 2004 and remained divorced for about 9 years. How did we get from there to here?

I’m not going to rehash our life from 1985 to 2004, but I will say we were both young people with 4 children trying to figure out what we wanted from life individually, as a couple and as a family. The divorce was tough. We decided we would remain cordial for the sake of our children. She also kept Grant as her last name, since that is who she was known as by everyone. Even though we weren’t together, we still supported each other and stayed in touch. Cheryl’s family was very encouraging and I was always welcome to their home for family events and holidays. Many times they wondered if we ever got divorced. In the early days I really wanted to get back with Cheryl but it never worked out mainly because she moved out of state.

I was dating, but women knew I wasn’t really interested in them. Many of the women I dated tried to speak ill of Cheryl. They were not happy with me when I shut them down. Some women thought if they hung around long enough they could pull me out of my love for Cheryl. None of them lasted and none of them ever had a chance.

One Sunday I went to Cheryl’s house and after spending some time together, I asked her if she wanted to go out. She said yes and we went to an arena league football game that following weekend. Before going to the game we stopped at Bold City Brewery for dinner and drinks.

This is when I shared this story with her.

“Before coming to your house last Sunday, I had a dinner date with a woman that Friday evening. The lady was coming in from Orlando. We were going to have dinner at my house and then she was going to spend the night with family she had in Jacksonville. It was raining hard that evening as I drove home from work and as I pulled into the garage and got out of my car these words just poured forth;

“I should not be coming home to an empty house. I should be coming home to my wife and my wife should be Cheryl Grant.”

That was odd and I was glad no one was there to hear me say that out loud; however, I did say that.

On Saturday my “date” and I had lunch downtown. The restaurant was located on the St. Johns River offering casual fare. I watched the lady eat and it repulsed me. I don’t recall feeling that way the night before when we shared dinner at my house. I gazed over the river and looked up into the sky and thought,

“ Why am I wasting my time with this woman. I want to be with Cheryl.”

That was odd and I was glad this woman didn’t hear me say that; however, I did say that albeit in my head.

My date went back to Orlando and she never heard from me again.

On Sunday I got up and came to visit you with the intent of winning you back.”

This was eleven years ago, so I don’t recall her exact reaction, but it was good and we continued our date. We continued dating and then decided we should get married.

It was a beautiful wedding performed in the front yard of her home. Her father brought her to me as the song from our first wedding played.

She was a beautiful bride again.

It was a fun wedding too. When the ceremony ended we played ‘September” by Earth, Wind, and Fire. We spend the evening eating and laughing with family and friends before leaving for our honeymoon.

Good times were had by all.

Has the second time around been sunshine and rainbows these past eleven years?

I wish I could say yes but the answer is no. We’ve had to endure a few “me-made storms”, but through all of them, we are still together, learning growing and loving each other. We put our marriage to the test this past summer when we went to St. Thomas and spent close to 17 days together. We had no television, no air conditioning, plenty of mosquitos and a lot of time on our hands.

We had a great time and we’re already planning to go back next year.

Marriage is an interesting experiment in loving and caring for someone who has given them self to you and you to them. It’s about sometimes being upset with a person, but understanding tomorrow is a new day and we get another chance at life and love. It’s about building and maintaining trust. It’s about providing support and an ear that is always there. Marriage is never taking your spouse for granted. It’s about laughing and enjoying being in each others presence. It’s about sharing and knowing secrets about each other. Marriage is forever, for better or worse. It’s about overcoming the bad times together. It’s about being that shoulder the other can cry on when the storms of life come.

It’s knowing your spouse will love you no matter what:

“Sunny days, everybody loves them
Tell me, baby, can you stand the rain?
Storms will come
This we know for sure
Can you stand the rain?”

Cheryl is my ride or die, my travel companion, sometimes my only friend, the only one who understands my passion for Broncos football, my lover and my life. I’m not a perfect husband and some days I’m not someone she likes very much, but I believe we are stronger together for all we have gone through and I am looking forward to enjoying the rest of my life with my beautiful bride, Cheryl Grant.

Happy anniversary!