Please be Patient with Me

I am not a perfect person, friend, husband, or parent. Everyday, I stumble and fall short of the glory of the Lord. But time I fall down; I get back up.

If you listened to the interview I did on the Journal of Free Black Thought podcast, you heard the story of my journey to becoming a Christian. Connie Morgan did a great job of extracting stories from me, and this is one I have wanted to share for awhile.

I have always had faith in Jesus. I grew up in a conservative Catholic home with parents who took us to church every Sunday. I went to Christian based summer camps, attended Vacation Bible schools in the summer, attended private Catholic high schools and learned how to pray at home.

When Cheryl and I got married, the Catholic church was not the best fit for us. She was raised in the primitive Baptist church. When we visited her parents, we’d go to their church. I did not enjoy it because I was comfortable with the structure and the guarantee of a one-hour service from the Catholic church.

Shortly after we married, we moved to Italy. We did not attend church a lot when we were stationed there for many reasons; however, we were exposed to Christian music and the Gospel. When we returned to the States we met a group of people who were going to the protestant service at Scott Air Force base every Sunday. They told us how good the pastor was and that the services were amazing.

Cheryl started to go.

I did not go with her.

Then she started taking the children.

I still did not go.

This created issues, so I finally decided to attend a service to make her happy.

The church atmosphere was rich with the spirt of the Lord, although I did not know what that was at the time. The music was uplifting and spirit piercing. The pastor spoke with a clarity I had never heard before. I don’t recall the exact Sunday, these events occurred but they did occur.

One Sunday, I was sitting in the pews of the church and the choir was singing. The music was amazing. The words from the song entered my ears but soon entered my spirit and I began to cry. I cannot tell you why I started to cry and I don’t remember the song, I just know I started to cry.

On another Sunday, as the pastor spoke, I started to cry again. It was as if ice was melting from around my heart and soul. Every Sunday, the pastor would invite people to come to the alter and receive Christ as their Savior. I needed to do that but every Sunday I put it off. I didn’t want my “church” friends to know I wasn’t saved.

At some point I believe I got up the nerve to go to the alter and accept Christ as my Lord and Savior. After that I was asked to join the men’s choir.

There is nothing about me that says, “He can sing!”

I sang in my elementary school choir so I know how to sing. My voice, hidden among other voices, probably isn’t too bad. Practicing with the guys was fun and singing on Sundays was encouraging for me.

At one of our practices, the director came to me and said, “ We have a song that requires a solo and I want you to sing the solo.”

I do not know why he asked me to sing a solo as I was new to the group, and nothing coming out of my mouth indicted I would be a great solo singer. So all I can believe is it was of the Lord. Even as I think about this now, I get emotional. I’m amazed that I still remember the name of the song. I don’t remember practicing the song, but I do remember being very nervous that Sunday morning knowing I was going to be singing in front of the church.

As the music started, I recall the director looking at me as I nervously held the microphone. At the moment I was supposed to start, I froze. The director looked at me, eyes filled with compassion and the pianist and the choir, skillfully returned to the beginning of the song moving toward the spot where I was supposed to begin singing.

At my entrance point, the director softly started singing “Please be patient with me…” and I began to sing with him. As his voice faded, mine took over. “Please be patient with me, God is not through with me yet.”

It was an amazing experience for me and the song has stuck with me since then.

When I go through the storms of life, that is the time I am reminded that God is not through with me yet. I am reminded that “When God get’s through with me, I will come forth as pure gold.”

I am not perfect person, friend, husband, or parent. Everyday, I stumble and fall short of the glory of the Lord. But each day even though I fall down, I get up.

These are the words to a great song by Donnie McClurkin; “We fall down, but we get up, for a saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up.”

I get back up again and again because God is not through with me yet.

Psalm 37:23-24 says:

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,
And He delights in his way.

 ²⁴Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand.

and Proverbs 24:16-18 says

For a righteous man may fall seven times
And rise again,
But the wicked shall fall by calamity.

¹⁷ Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,
And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles;
¹⁸ Lest the Lord see it, and ^[c]it displease Him,
And He turn away His wrath from him.

This is my story and I know it has to be the story of many others. A story of falling down in your family relationships, falling down as you try to do the right thing everyday, falling down in life again and again and again….

Know each day is a new day in the Lord and if you are a child of the risen Savior then when you fall down, you will get up. Those around you may grow tired of your foolishness and some may wish that when you stumble and fall that you would stay down. You might even just decide there’s no reason to get up. To that I say,

Get back up!

Stay strong in the Lord, and know that when He ask you to sing and you hesitate, He will be there to help you because, He’s not through with you yet. He has been patient with me and He will be patient with you. Underneath all the pain and struggle you will come forth as pure gold.

Lord, help me to be patient with others so they will continue to be patient with me. I pray that when you stumble and fall, Jesus will be there for you, and through Him, you will get back up again, being confident of this very thing, “that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” Philippians 1:6.